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When you complain, you are putting yourself in reactive mode. You are communicating to yourself and others that you are not responsible, and you relinquish your agency in favor of someone else’s. One way to be more proactive is to get positively ruthless with the bad habit of complaining. Nothing good ever comes of complaining! You may think you feel a bit better after whining about something you’re unhappy with, but all you do is disempower yourself further (and probably bore others). If you replay every interaction and social situation in your mind, it could be social anxiety that’s causing your overthinking . You let negativity build up in your mind
Overthinkers often focus on the past, expending energy on “what ifs” and “should haves.” Those who understand how to not overthink know that the past is just that. It can’t be changed. The only thing you can change is the meaning you give to it.Because a proactive person knows that they are in charge of their actions, their feelings and their inner interpretations, they make efforts to create situations that actually align with their values. A reactive person quietly hopes that things will align for them, or that others will help them, or else they quietly resent when this doesn’t happen, or resort to blame.
Yet when you overthink excessively, it isn’t rational, and it isn’t part of a larger strategy. It can even cause activity in your brain that can be harmful to you. One Harvard study found that this excessive brain activity depletes an essential protein – and that may actually shorten the human lifespan . Such a good book for those of us struggling with rumination and anxiety. Will need to read it again. Overthinking falls into two categories: ruminating (rehashing the past) and worrying (making often catastrophic predictions about the future). If you’re still not sure whether you really need to learn how to stop overthinking , take a minute to ask yourself if you have any of these overthinking symptoms : You worry about the futureBefore you can learn how to stop overthinking everything, you must get to the true root of the problem. Often overthinking is a byproduct of anxiety or depression. If this is the case, you can treat your anxiety or depression to reduce overthinking . This is something that the world’s most successful people realize – and the only difference between them and everyone else is that they are able to harness the power of thoughts to help them achieve. They’ve learned how to stop overthinking and start taking action . You beat yourself up about “should haves” and “could haves ” and are unable to let go of the past and move on. You are stressed about what others think of you
With The Overthinking Cure , you'll learn how ✅ Understand the common thought patterns of overthinkers and break the vicious cycle. While I liked most of the ideas, explanations and tips in this, reading it turned into a bit of a chore and I really struggled to get through it. I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that presentation. My hands will shake, my face will turn red, and everyone will see that I’m incompetent.It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any other skill, but over time, it can decrease overthinking. Let’s return to the question: who is in control of your life? Well, it depends on you! You can choose to be in control of your own life, or you can forfeit that choice to others. The thing is, nobody can force you to take charge of your own life—you either embrace that agency or you fail to embrace it. Now, what does all this have to do with cultivating an attitude of inner calm? As you can probably guess, those who are calm and composed as people tend to act from a proactive mindset. They feel calm because they are self-assured and confident in their own agency. They’re not anxious in situations because they know that someone is in control—them! Because they have fully claimed their agency, they know that they always have options, they can always become aware of them and make conscious choices, and they can always make the best of even the worst possible outcomes. Your mind doesn't have to be a minefield. Constant chatter is unhealthy; find a better way and see a brighter life. Replaying all the options in your head can mean that you’re so afraid to take the wrong action, you take no action at all. You feel depressed or stressed
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